Mean Green Demon Pita

You know we love the fires of hell like any good devil should, but this heatwave has got us reeling. Time for some cool, crisp, summer eats. This is a two-part recipe, but it's so easy, you could make it with one hoof tied behind your back. First, you'll make the Bartleby's version of a green goddess dressing, which we've vegan-ized and named it our Green Demon Dressing. Second, you'll jam everything in a pita pocket. Done.

This recipe yields about two cups of dressing, which can be made a day ahead of time. Store in the fridge in an air-tight container until ready to use.

​​A printable PDF version of this recipe is available here. Stay well and raise hell, you demons. 


Like, I guess we can share.

  • conventional oven (or toaster oven)
  • baking sheet
  • food processor or high-speed blender
  • knives and cutting board for chopping veg and slicing pita pockets; spatula or flipper for maneuvering cutlets on and off the baking sheet
  • Total Time: 35 mins (Prep: 15 mins, Active Cook: 20 mins)
  • serves 2 hungry devils

This dish is wickedly fresh. A super summery, seitanic 

ingredients: mean green demon dressing
  • ​1 clove garlic, peeled
  • 1½ ripe avocados
  • ¼ C of extra virgin olive oil
  • ½ - ¾ C fresh basil leaves
  • ½ C fresh parsley
  • ½ C chopped scallions (deep green parts only)
  • 4 TB fresh lemon juice (about 1 lemon)
  • 3 TB apple cider vinegar
  • 1 TB water
  • 1 tsp kosher salt
ingredients: assembly
  • ​2 Bartleby’s Crispy Seitan Cutlets
  • 2 pita bread pockets, sliced
  • Cucumbers, thinly sliced
  • Tomatoes, thickly sliced
  • Green leaf lettuce, a few leaves
  • Alfalfa sprouts

It takes just a few minutes to create this sauce in your blender or food processor, and that's really the hardest part of the recipe.

  1. Whir all ingredients in a food processor or high speed blender until fully combined. Taste! You may want to add more acid (lemon juice or vinegar) or salt to please your devilish taste buds. You may also need to add another tablespoon or two of water to get the dressing to a pourable consistency.
  2. Place seitan on an ungreased baking sheet on the center rack in your oven. Bake cutlets 15-20 minutes, flipping about halfway through. They should be heated through to the center, and the hand-battered coating should start to sizzle and crisp up.
  3. Assemble your sandwiches. Spread some dressing on the inside of your pita bread. Layer lettuce leaves, cucumber slices, tomato slices, and sprouts in the pocket. Nestle a hot Crispy Cutlet within the vegetables and drizzle with even more dressing.​ Serve, and stuff yer face.